Winter Weather -or- People Who Drive Hummers Are Douche Bags

treeIt’s seven days before Christmas. I’ve been listening to Christmas music on XM. We’ve bought presents and wrapping paper. Yesterday, I ordered the delicious, but maddeningly seasonal, peppermint mocha cappuccino at Starbucks.

And it was so damn hot today that I was wearing shorts and a tank top.

Seriously”¦what the hell?

For the most part, I think environmentalists are alarmist nitwits, but it was eighty some odd degrees today, so I think we can all pretty much agree that something’s just not right.

From what I’ve read, anti-environmentalists (I don’t know what else to call them) argue that we don’t have enough data to accurately discover whether or not the rise in temperature is due to our influence, or that perhaps the earth just goes through periods of time where the temperature fluctuates.truth

You know, despite what scientists say, that sounds pretty logical to me. The rise in temperature could be systemic. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the fact that the temperature has risen, and I GET NO WINTER!

Everyone agrees that the weather is changing, but we disagree on the reasons for the change. We also agree that at some level human activity does affect out environment. So, here’s what I don’t understand””why don’t we just go ahead and start acting more responsibly, since by proxy we all agree that by doing so we could positively affect our environment? We can figure everything else later.

You know what? Enough with this logical reasoning. I don’t give a shit if we have to replace the ozone with enormous layers of Saran Wrap, but next year I want Christmas weather. I also want the water in the Brazos river to return to its original state of clear. I’m tired of “algae-brown” year after year.

rudolphI also think we should all collectively decide to run people that drive Hummers right off the road. You get extra points if you cause them to smash into a cement embankment, or if they have kids in the Hummer with them.

And not for any environmental reasons either. I just think that people who drive Hummers are a bunch of douche bags.

Excuse the digression. Let me reiterate: The weather is psychotic. We need to fix it. I don’t ever want to be wearing shorts at Christmas again unless we are vacationing in the Bahamas.

Merry Christmas. Now pass the sunblock.

Categories: Jackassery, Politics, Texaspecific | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Winter Weather -or- People Who Drive Hummers Are Douche Bags

  1. Flood

    There is also the mud and your f—ing (Just in case the young are reading your blog) cows.

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