Okay, I’m halfheartedly watching the Oscars tonight and Dolly Parton appears onstage to sing her Oscar nominated song “Travelin’ Thru,” and I decide to make myself dinner because 1) I’m hungry 2) sixty year old women with boobie implants bigger than my head gives me the willies.
I’m in the kitchen reheating a chicken fajita taco and I hear Dolly begin singing, and I slowly realize I know the song, which is impossible because I haven’t seen “Transamerica” and as I said above Dolly makes me shiver. I run into the living room to listen to the rest of her performance and I am very nearly convinced she plagiarized Whitesnake.
Let’s do a quick comparison of Parton’s “Travelin’ Thru” and Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again.”
Parton: “Well I can’t tell you where I’m going, I’m not sure of where I’ve been / But I know I must keep travelin’ till my road comes to an end”
Whitesnake: “I don’t know where I’m going / But, I sure know where I’ve been”
See! See! I’m not makin’ this up for a silly joke. But hold on, it gets better”¦
Parton: “Questions I have many, answers but a few”
Whitesnake: “Tho’ I keep searching for an answer, / I never seem to find what I’m looking for”
How does Dolly sleep at night? Well, figuratively speaking; physically I’m sure she sleeps on her back.
Parton: “Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song.”
Whitesnake: “Like a hobo I was born to walk alone.”
I’ll stop there because I’m sure you get my point, but if you want to continue the analysis I started please go here for the lyrics to “Here I Go Again” and here for the lyrics to “Travelin’ Thru.” And for God’s sake don’t spend too much time reading or listening to either song. If you do don’t come lookin’ for me after you suffer a brain hemorrhage and blood seeps out your ears.
I can only imagine David Coverdale’s anger if he was still with us and knew that Dolly Parton stole his song.
Wait, he’s still alive? Huh. Oh”¦well, never mind.