Here I Go Travelin’ Thru

Okay, I’m halfheartedly watching the Oscars tonight and Dolly Parton appears onstage to sing her Oscar nominated song “Travelin’ Thru,” and I decide to make myself dinner because 1) I’m hungry 2) sixty year old women with boobie implants bigger than my head gives me the willies.

I’m in the kitchen reheating a chicken fajita taco and I hear Dolly begin singing, and I slowly realize I know the song, which is impossible because I haven’t seen “Transamerica” and as I said above Dolly makes me shiver. I run into the living room to listen to the rest of her performance and I am very nearly convinced she plagiarized Whitesnake.

Let’s do a quick comparison of Parton’s “Travelin’ Thru” and Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again.”

Parton: “Well I can’t tell you where I’m going, I’m not sure of where I’ve been / But I know I must keep travelin’ till my road comes to an end”

Whitesnake: “I don’t know where I’m going / But, I sure know where I’ve been”

See! See! I’m not makin’ this up for a silly joke. But hold on, it gets better”¦

Parton: “Questions I have many, answers but a few”

Whitesnake: “Tho’ I keep searching for an answer, / I never seem to find what I’m looking for”

How does Dolly sleep at night? Well, figuratively speaking; physically I’m sure she sleeps on her back.

Parton: “Like the poor wayfaring stranger that they speak about in song.”

Whitesnake: “Like a hobo I was born to walk alone.”

I’ll stop there because I’m sure you get my point, but if you want to continue the analysis I started please go here for the lyrics to “Here I Go Again” and here for the lyrics to “Travelin’ Thru.” And for God’s sake don’t spend too much time reading or listening to either song. If you do don’t come lookin’ for me after you suffer a brain hemorrhage and blood seeps out your ears.

I can only imagine David Coverdale’s anger if he was still with us and knew that Dolly Parton stole his song.

Wait, he’s still alive? Huh. Oh”¦well, never mind.

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