I just heard on television that jalapenos are being bred without heat. I don’t know why I’m so incensed about that, but damn it, I am. I usually add more jalapenos than recipes call for, and I thought it was because I had a higher tolerance for heat, but evidently the heat has been removed from the capsicums, thereby lowering the jalapenos’ rating on the Scoville scale.

I don’t know who to blame about this…I’m thinking the conservatives are probably responsible. They probably think that hot food may lead to anal sex or abortions in some way (just an aside, I’ve never understood why conservatives have such a problem with gay sex…I mean, who has less abortions than homosexuals?)**

Or maybe the liberals are behind this. They probably think that keeping the peppers hot would be an affront to mexican-americans; as if anglos were mocking the latin heritage by consuming all the spiciness of it. Or perhaps some vegetarian burned their tongue, so the liberals think the government should protect the public from the harshness of the pepper.

Who knows…I’m just gonna have to start growing my own damn peppers.

**Yes, I know that I stole that joke from George Carlin. That doesn’t make it any less funny.

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