Sometimes late at night I like to explore the blogosphere via the “Next Blog” button at the top of the page. That button is the internet equivalent of a ticket to the carnival”¦you’ll probably enjoy yourself immensely, but only after you become acclimated to all the freaks.
I’ve found one recurring motif that connects all the bad writing and self-indulgent ranting: the self-photograph. I’m sure you’ve seen them. They’re usually poorly lit and the subject is trying painstakingly hard to look introspective and moody. In fact, I remember reading somewhere that the creators of Myspace use millions of self-photographs daily to fuel their massive servers.
Well, as you may have noticed, I’m experiencing something of a draught in the self-photograph area here at Hyperliterature, so tonight at 3:30 A.M. I decided to try my hand at the most popular form of photography on the internet today.
I’d like to share my attempts at achieving the perfect self-photo:
After my first photo I discovered that self-photography was no walk in the park as I had previously suspected. This was going to take some work, but I was determined to capture a self-photo with the perfect combination of ego-centricity and correct body placement.
Now with this photo I felt as if I was making progress. I really liked this one, and for a moment considered using it next year in our Christmas cards. Unfortunately a quick review of self-photos throughout the internets revealed my joy in this photo as highly inappropriate. I needed a much more somber tone.
BINGO! But I still felt as if something was missing”¦and then it hit me: I’m not canting the camera at a weird, vertigo-inducing angle. It’s gotta look like a drunk(er?) Orson Welles shot the photo, and this one just conforms to the x axis much too perfectly.