One-Trick Ponies

mannequinToday while reading the comments in a forum about the “Transformers” sequel, I ran across one poster who seemed to think that the mere fact that Megan Fox would appear in the new movie justified actually paying for, and sitting through, another Micheal Bay atrocity. This guy wasn’t alone, either. There were many other posters that indicated that they, too, would watch the film, no matter how awful, simply because they liked looking at Megan Fox.

Now, before I start bashing the ever-living shit out of Megan Fox, let me say that I don’t find her unattractive. She’s easy to look at, I suppose, but take away the makeup team, the designer cloths, the cadre of hairdressers, the personal trainers, the nutritionists, the Photoshop experts, and she’s no different than the half-drunk, junior college girl on “Ladies Night” that tries to con guys into buying her free drinks in exchange for a little dry-humping while dancing to Nelly’s “E.I.

I question the sanity of people that seem perfectly content to sit through a movie simply because one or more of the actors or actresses are sexy. Salma Hayek and Lita Ford notwithstanding, I can stare at a beautiful woman for about three and a half minutes before she has to do something remotely interesting that does not involve her beauty, or I’m gone. The woman needs to be able to act or sing or dance or do something for God’s sake. Just standing there looking pretty? Shit, even a mannequin can do that.

In the interest of full disclosure, I’d like to reveal that on my first draft of this post I tried to make a list of Hollywood starlets that are only famous because they’re beautiful, but frankly, I find them so boring and vacuous that I couldn’t even make a list off the top of my head. I had to resort to Google, and I eventually figured “why bother?”. And I also would like to acknowledge that I know this happens with male actors, too. Shia LaBeouf is a one trick pony himself.

The only good thing about actors or actresses in this vein is that they typically have a very short shelf life. And then, thankfully, something bad usually happens to them, which, as I’ve said time and time and time and time and time and time again, puts a big old smile on my face.

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