Good Judgments

“I don’t have kids, but if I did I’d never allow them to….”

“I seriously can’t believe Bush is President. I mean, I don’t vote, but he’s the absolute worst…”

“You see that lady? Yeah, her. She’s got a dog, and it’s the most ill-behaved creature I’ve ever seen. Well, I don’t have dogs, but I watch “The Dog Whisperer” and that woman definitely…”

I know some people who would claim that statements like those are invalid because the person making them doesn’t have any first-hand knowledge about the situation on which he or she is commenting. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “Well, if you don’t vote, you don’t have any room to complain.” Poppy-cock I say. There’s no better place to comment from positions of ignorance and non-involvement.

Even Leigh and I don’t have any children, I have no problem criticizing and deriding parents for their poor parenting skills. In fact, I’m convinced my judgements about their parenting are in fact more valid than their self-assessments. I can hear my readers retreating. Look, their love for the fruit of their loins (why doesn’t anyone ever say loin-fruit?) has obviously corrupted their ability to proffer non-biased judgments, so I’d argue that they need someone like me to skillfully critique their children.

Likewise with politics–a Republican or a Democrat is far too invested in his or her own particular party to fairly judge the party’s actions as a whole, so someone like me needs to come in and call bullshit on all the bullshit.

So the next time someone tells you that you have no idea what you’re talking about, simply look that person in the eye and tell the buttinski, “Oh yeah? Well, my ignorance of your child’s chemical imbalance makes me far more qualified to categorize him as a ‘mop-headed little spaz’ than your so-called empirical ‘knowledge’ of his medical history. And by the by, who did you vote for?”

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Comments

  1. Flood says:

    I’ll speak as some one who has kids and I would largely agree with you. Having kids deludes people. I think it is because somewhere in the back of their minds they know that they are screwing up. I know that is a constant concern of mine. Every one else just shoves it as far back in their mind as they can and pretend they are doing a great job and their kids behave wonderfully. Those who take offense at criticism are so far into denial that they might as well be meth-heads (what do you mean I can’t buy forty packages of sudafed)

    And you vote, Bullshintsky, so shut up. Your views are so biased that Karl is thinking about sueing for copywrite infringement. And I know that you are going to want to come back with that fascist or totalitarian theocracy crap, but don’t since I already called you out on that.

    And you can’t say anything about pets, can you. (I refuse to say anything mean about you sweet dog)

  2. Hypermark says:

    Less Karl and more Niccolo and Friedrich (of the Nietzsche variety not the Engels).

    As far as pets, you’re absolutely right. My question is usually, “Why is your dog so, so….dog-like?”

  3. Prof. J. says:

    The love of experiential knowledge has landed us in a world of trouble. How many times have you had to correct a student who says something off the wall like “All people on food stamps cheat the government” and then try to “support” it with “I once saw someone pay for beer with food stamps.” First hand experience is often misleading.

    And I want some of that delicious food stamp beer! Ah poverty, the taste of it!

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