Just Get To the Damn Point!

Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve somehow become trapped by a blowhard who won’t shut up? And have you ever been in a situation like that where the blowhard has unregulated authority to speak as long as they want? What do you do when a boss / professor / classmate / fellow employee is given the task of relating information of some kind to a group of people, and is totally ignorant of the fact that they are completely, and utterly, boring?

The only option I’ve found is to stare at their eyebrows and nod every so often, all the while thinking “Shut up, shut up shut up, shut up!”

I’ve always wondered what would happen if I were to fire a pencil at the offending speaker’s eye while screaming “Your eyeball offends me so I’m pluckin’ it out!” I’ve also dreamed of just getting up and walking toward the door. On my way out I would walk over to the speaker ever so casually, and calmly throw all of his papers onto the floor.

Just remember: As you give your next report those nods you think are signs of agreement in your audience are in actuality dreams of your bloody demise.

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