How Ya Like Me NOW!

I peruse news sites for a variety of reasons: information, advice, recipes, updates on technological innovations, etc. Sometimes I use the information from news stories as the impetus to spur personal introspection which helps me become a better all-around person.

Like this story. It’s about a level-headed disciplinarian from Japan who took a very hands-on approach with an unruly student. I’m hoping to teach a composition class in the fall, and I’m always looking at different pedagogical stances. I’m looking forward to employing this guy’s approach to dealing with apathetic students. Here’s my favorite quote from the article: “The next day, the student was again late to practice and the teacher warned him once more. The student began to sulk prompting the teacher to punch him in the face.”

Read that? The teacher punched his student in the face. You wanna know why? The kid showed up late for class, and for that he just slugged the little creep. How great is that? I’m betting that kid showed up the next day ten minutes early with bells on.

We should take this practice out of the classroom. Actually, I’m thinking we should do away with the outdated notion of civility altogether, and just institute a general policy of unadulterated violence instead. If teachers can punch students in the face then when the morons at Taco Bell screw up my order I should be able to punch them in the face too.

In fact, we should have a “punch someone in the face” day. It would be grand. Hallmark could sell a card that said “I bet you thought no one cared” and then when they opened it they would see a blank page. When they looked up at you quizzically you could punch them directly in the face.

Just an aside, but I think that after you punch someone in the face a law should require you to scream “How ya like me NOW!” If you don’t yell “How ya like me NOW” you’d be vulnerable to a lawsuit, otherwise you could go around punching people in the face all day with no repercussions.

Just to clarify: I’m not advocating impromptu fighting. That’d be chaotic and slightly un-democratic. All you get is one punch, and if you’re the punchee, well, just suck it up and take it like an American.

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One thought on “How Ya Like Me NOW!

  1. *whines* aw, come on! can’t we substitute a baseball bat? pluuuuze? just once..bat upside da head? just once? */whining*

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