Does The Esteemed Gentleman Want A Piece Of Me?

BrownieMichael Brown is back in the news. Fortunately for us, the only thing he’s mismanaging now is his mouth. CNN has an article about his latest adventure.

During a Playboy interview Brown says of Rep. Gene Taylor: “He said I didn’t recognize the death and suffering that was going on”¦For that little twerp to claim I didn’t recognize death and suffering — he can just bite me, for all I care.”

Ooooo, damn! That’s your ass Gene Taylor! Go on Brownie”¦now say sumptin’ ”˜bout his momma!!!

We should give Brown another government job. Not because he’s a competent, reliable public servant, but more because he makes for good headlines. Click To EnlargeHopefully he’ll start cursing in interviews. I have a feeling that if people keep telling him he’s a fool eventually he’ll climb a bell tower with an automatic weapon and truly voice his dissatisfaction in a meaningful way.

As much as I like Brown’s comment, I’m only halfway satisfied with the level of divisiveness in our government. I can appreciate badmouthing opponents, but when are we gonna see some real action?

I wanna see a republican slap a democrat in the mouth. I’m anxiously anticipating the moment when a democrat kicks a republican in the nuts. I’m waiting for the day when I flip over to C-Span and see the House and the Senate engaged in a full-on brawl. You’d see those old, silver-haired ladies jumping off of tables and onto the backs of the men”¦pulling their hair and clawing at their eyes. Gavels would be flying, three-piece suits would be ripped and shredded, and the smart guys would take off their ties and put that Windsor knot to good use””by tightening it around the neck of the loud-mouth a-hole from Alaska.

When that day comes I’m placing a considerable amount of money on John “The Tank” Murtha. He looks like he could take on a few guys all at once. I’d also like to see Bill TylerFrist and John Kerry throw down. They’re both tall, lanky guys with long arms, and as Tyler Durden would say: “Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight ’til they’re burger.”

Some of those guys served in ”˜Nam, and I’m betting a brouhaha like that would send them directly to flashback city, virtually guaranteeing us some decent action.

Don’t look at me like that. If those shit-heads at the Hill won’t even try to get along and get some work done, then I say they should at least provide us with some entertainment. Now: LET’S GIT IT ON!!!

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Comments

  1. Flood says:

    So here is my quick crack at your post. If i can muster the desire I might make it a little longer later. Avoid the snide remarks if you can, although I hold little faith in your self control.

    Do we really want the government to get anything done? I mean your article highlights the excellent effectiveness of our government. So disagree, and hopefully I will be back later to talk some more smack. Oh yeah, I am still waiting for my royalty check.

  2. Flood says:

    Mike Brown is the Mike Tyson of the government. Sure he can still entertain some, but you really just wan’t him to go away (kinda like that vineral disease). Now some of your other contestants sounded a little better, but I think that you are being a little one dimensional. What about Joe Lieberman and the back biting Dem of your choice. Better yet Bill and Hilary. I don’t know who would win. B is one sneaky SOB and I don’t think that he plays fare, but H has the anger and wrath, and I don’t think that she plays fair. I I had to give points I think that H would have to get the edge. With the Republicans I think that it is a bit harder to find a good fight. Although, there is a bitter three way race for the Rep’s Senate race in TN. It could be a three man king of the cage brawl. All the others seem a bit pussy for my tastes. Not enough spirit to make the fight worth watching. Maybe Newt, but 1. the name just kills it, 2. He still has to fight one of the other pussies in the party, and 3. I don’t really know, how about he’s out of shape, I just thought that I needed a third point.

    Next, are you really advocating public entertainment, ’cause think of the possibilities of ppv. I would be a great way for the government to raise revenue. It would be a voluntary tax, and who wouldn’t pay to see B and H jsut go after it. We could lower taxes on the top 10% and insure a prosperous economy for years to come.

    I think the hardest problem with this would be agreeing on the rule. Boxing, K2, Pride, UFC, AAu… I mean there are so many people who would want a cut of the action that there would be pandamonium. Could we could put that on ppv also.

    And then get things done? The only things that they really get done are the truly inane! He let’s build a fence, but let’s not fund it. Let’s fix Social Security ’cause it’s a crisis. Yeah I haven’t heard about that for months. Illegal immigration, dealing with those here now, Iraq, Homeland defense, Minimum Wage, War on Poverty, MFN for China, Terry Sciavo, pay raises… The list goes on and on. What haven’t they fucked up? I think that they would fuck up the whole fight idea as well. probable wear pads from head to foot.

    And, most importantly, you forgot the lesbian action, or anal sex, or blow jobs, or masterbation. I don’t know why anyone comes to your blog with out those quality topics to read about!

  3. hypermark says:

    No, I absolutely do not want to see Brown go away. I\’m just afraid someone\’s gonna push him over the edge and he\’ll go out in a blaze of glory. Sure, it\’d make for a helluva show, but in the long run we\’d be denied the insanity of Brown. I\’d like to think he\’ll simply start biting people, but for some reason I see a big handgun in his future.

    I didn\’t even think about Bill and Hillary fighting. I have a feeling Hillary would be like that guy from Temple of Doom or Kano from Mortal Kombat. She\’d just run around pulling hearts out of peoples chest in one deft move.

    I disagree about Newt. You get a good color commentator calling the fight, someone who\’d say his name low and gravely, maybe add the definite pronoun \”The\” at the beginning, and he might sound pretty menacing. Kinda like the Undertaker of the Hill. \”The Newwwwwtttttt.\” See. That\’s a little bit scary.

    You\’re right though. They\’d find someway to fuck the fight up. I imagine that they would clash together and all at once a huge group of people would get killed in various grotesque ways. Then they\’d stop to talk about what they\’d done, and attempt to formulate rules for the next fight. Every so often during the talks one or two people would go ape-shit and kill a few politicos, but other than that it\’d be all talking.

    And there\’s no way, NO WAY, I\’d want to see any of those crusty old white people engaged in any act remotely sexual. Geez. I start dry-heaving just thinking about it.

  4. hypermark says:

    I have no idea why the stupid editor put backslashes in my comment. I went back to correct the spelling of “scary” and suddenly it looked all jacked up.

    Dammit.

  5. Flood says:

    Yeah, but it gets you more hits, and by the way they aren’t all crust old white people.

  6. Flood says:

    We don’t have enough insanity?

    B and H would give us something that those other fight couldn’t! And you know deep down that you want to see the heart coming out of the Chest, you need to see the heart coming out of the chest! (You sicko)

    And I don’t care how you say Newt it just doesn’t fly. Remember MPTHG, the knight was ashamed to have ever been a newt (She turned me into a newt/ I got better.

    And don’t blame the editor for your shitty typing! Obviously you’re a lib, always blaming someone else! Maybe you can hang with Cindy when she moves into her new house.

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