For a male who doesn’t like football, this time of the year totally sucks. To be frank, I didn’t even realize this last weekend was the Super Bowl until Sunday morning. I was bitching because there were so many people at the mid-morning church service, and Leigh reminded me that they probably wanted to get their praying out of the way before kick-off.
I don’t even want to watch the stupid thing for the commercials. First off, they’re commercials. I don’t like commercials on any other occasion, and coupling them with an idiotic game of catch and steroids doesn’t make me like them any more. Secondly…well, there is no secondly. I have a DVR so I don’t have to watch commercials, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna waste a whole friggin‘ Sunday night in the hopes of catching a few funny commercials. Besides, some ambitious interweb-nerd will post’em all up on YouTube. Problem solved.
Everywhere I’ve been this week, dudes have been asking me what I thought about the game. Here’s what I thought: It was just as moronic and Valiumesque in its borningness as it has been since the very first Super Bowl.
Then yesterday, I find out that I actually should have watched the big game. More specifically, I should have watched the Super Bowl in Tuscan, Arizona. Why, you ask?
Not for the game, obviously.
Not for the stupid commercials.
No, I should have watched the Super Bowl broadcast in Tuscan, Arizona for the gigantic dong and the blowjob.
You see, the Tuscan-based Comcast had a bit of trouble with their feed of the Super Bowl. For some reason, right in the middle of the game, the feed of the Super Bowl screwed up and Comcast started broadcasting a porno instead of the Super Bowl.
I’ve spent some time thinking about this, and if the NFL started randomly inserting porno clips into the football games, then I might, and I stress might, watch football. Probably not, but I might.
Thankfully, some ambitious interweb-nerd videotaped the glitch so I didn’t need to watch the dumbass Super Bowl after all. It’s amazing the internet can still do anything productive, what with all the porn.
Oh, that link is obviously very, very NSFW. Don’t blame me if you click it and immediately get fired.