Each day I attempt to incorporate a new word into casual conversation. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not trying to enrich my vocabulary, but rather endeavoring to inject absurd, and oftentimes offensive, words into conversations. Ultimately, I want to see if I can spout off weird words without people calling me out on my idiocy. I figure if they ask me what I’m talking about I failed.
I found the word “hootenanny” almost impossible to use without receiving some kind of negative response. I tried using it couple of ways: “Man, I’m still hungover from last night. That was a helluva hootenanny!” That didn’t work, so I tried, “Hey baby, how much for a hootenanny?” That little ha-ha got a lit cigarette flicked in my face.
I eventually gave up on hootenanny and moved on to “verily.”
“Verily” is simply a declaration of affirmation, and is synonymous with “amen,” “so be it,” “assuredly,” and “word up mofo.” The first, and incidentally, the last, place I tried this verbal switcheroo was at church. I really didn’t figure that anyone would notice, or if they did I was confident that my fellow churchgoers knew enough about their religion to understand the etymology of the terms of worship. After I washed the incense out of my eyes and cleaned the crackers out of my hair I decided to forget about verily.
I was able to squeeze “dingle-berries” into a conversation without getting busted. This one was surprisingly easy. I just said, “Ugh, my tummy hurts. I probably need to get some more fiber in my diet. Anyone know if dingle-berries are in season?” No one did, but several people guessed August.
Tomorrow I’m planning on trying out “nutsack.” I’ve thought of several sentences that I’ll use to sneak it into conversation, but I’m a little nervous about this one. Most people know that “nuts” is a euphemism for testicles, but I’m hoping that the “sack” aspect will be enough to confuse them.
I’m thinking of upping the stakes for myself by adding weird and obscene hand-gestures along with the words. “Oh, no ma’am. That’s ASL for ”˜can you shake up the ketchup for me?’.”