Words Are Fun

moransEach day I attempt to incorporate a new word into casual conversation. Don’t misunderstand me, I’m not trying to enrich my vocabulary, but rather endeavoring to inject absurd, and oftentimes offensive, words into conversations. Ultimately, I want to see if I can spout off weird words without people calling me out on my idiocy. I figure if they ask me what I’m talking about I failed.

I found the word “hootenanny” almost impossible to use without receiving some kind of negative response. I tried using it couple of ways: “Man, I’m still hungover from last night. That was a helluva hootenanny!” That didn’t work, so I tried, “Hey baby, how much for a hootenanny?” That little ha-ha got a lit cigarette flicked in my face.

I eventually gave up on hootenanny and moved on to “verily.”

“Verily” is simply a declaration of affirmation, and is synonymous with “amen,” “so be it,” “assuredly,” and “word up mofo.” The first, and incidentally, the last, place I tried this verbal switcheroo was at church. I really didn’t figure that anyone would notice, or if they did I was confident that my fellow churchgoers knew enough about their religion to understand the etymology of the terms of worship. After I washed the incense out of my eyes and cleaned the crackers out of my hair I decided to forget about verily.

I was able to squeeze “dingle-berries” into a conversation without getting busted. This one was surprisingly easy. I just said, “Ugh, my tummy hurts. I probably need to get some more fiber in my diet. Anyone know if dingle-berries are in season?” No one did, but several people guessed August.

Tomorrow I’m planning on trying out “nutsack.” I’ve thought of several sentences that I’ll use to sneak it into conversation, but I’m a little nervous about this one. Most people know that “nuts” is a euphemism for testicles, but I’m hoping that the “sack” aspect will be enough to confuse them.

I’m thinking of upping the stakes for myself by adding weird and obscene hand-gestures along with the words. “Oh, no ma’am. That’s ASL for ”˜can you shake up the ketchup for me?’.”

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