I like to pretend that I’m not rapidly nearing the thirty year mark. I shave my side-burns almost level with my ears, because if I let them grow any lower the hair turns gray. I try to ignore the fact that I now get heartburn as frequently as my dad. I like to imagine that I’m current with the new and ground-breaking bands, although when no one’s looking I crank up the hairbands and dream of days gone past when wearing white acid-washed jeans made me look cool (they still would, dammit).
But last night I saw something that just straight up made me feel old. I saw David Lee Roth perform a bluegrass rendition of the song “Jump” on the Leno show. Let me repeat that: Diamond Dave sang the best song from the Van Halen album 1984 as a country tune. Here’s a video of it from YouTube. (It might get pulled for copyright infringement”¦if it does I’ll find another copy).
I’m thankful that I watched it sober, because if I had been drunk the mere sight of that would have rendered me unconscious. Even completely sober I had to fight the urge to claw my eyes out.