The Wal

Man, Walgreens is a weird place to be at 1:30 in the morning.

I discovered at around 1:00 that I had run out of milk, and the thought of going to bed without my glass of chocolaty dream-elixir caused me to shake like a recovering alcoholic on a tour of a micro-brewery. So I ventured out into the night in search of some cow juice, unaware that the nocturnal underground holds their nightly conclave at The Wal.

There was a guy stumbling about drunkenly while holding a prescription bag and asking the female clerk for permission to kiss her hand. As far as I could tell she ignored this request but chatted with him while she restocked the batteries.

One lady had a cart completely full of stuffed animals and bleach. The animals were literally falling out of the cart. I can only assume she arrived at the Wal in seach of all white stuffed animals, and after finding none decided to make her own.

In the parking lot a family of four slept in their car. The parents slept in the front and a boy and girl in the backseat. As far as I could tell they were not waiting on anyone, but simply sleeping in the parking lot.

As I paid for my milk and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, the drunk fellow began telling me how much he loved my shirt. For a moment he advanced towards me as if to either touch my shirt (In-N-Out Burger does make lovely apparel) or perhaps embrace me in some kind of inebriated lovefest. I crisply replied “thank you,” but my eyes said “touch me and I gouge your eyes out.”

He backed off, and as I was walking out I heard the clerk ask him, “Now tell me again why your hands don’t touch the ground.”

I hurried to the car and quickly drove home. In retrospect I regret not hanging around to hear his answer. It might have been interesting.

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Comments

  1. leigh says:

    were you very gazelle-like as you hurried to the car? and if so, why? it’s not like you cut in front of him in line and pissed him off enough to yell “i’ll fucking kill you!!!!”

  2. Mark A. says:

    I am very gazelle-like. And if he had tried to hold a place in line by using a pair of shoes as a place holder I would have kicked them out of the way.

    ‘Cause you know what I say about shoes…

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