Man, Walgreens is a weird place to be at 1:30 in the morning.
I discovered at around 1:00 that I had run out of milk, and the thought of going to bed without my glass of chocolaty dream-elixir caused me to shake like a recovering alcoholic on a tour of a micro-brewery. So I ventured out into the night in search of some cow juice, unaware that the nocturnal underground holds their nightly conclave at The Wal.
There was a guy stumbling about drunkenly while holding a prescription bag and asking the female clerk for permission to kiss her hand. As far as I could tell she ignored this request but chatted with him while she restocked the batteries.
One lady had a cart completely full of stuffed animals and bleach. The animals were literally falling out of the cart. I can only assume she arrived at the Wal in seach of all white stuffed animals, and after finding none decided to make her own.
In the parking lot a family of four slept in their car. The parents slept in the front and a boy and girl in the backseat. As far as I could tell they were not waiting on anyone, but simply sleeping in the parking lot.
As I paid for my milk and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, the drunk fellow began telling me how much he loved my shirt. For a moment he advanced towards me as if to either touch my shirt (In-N-Out Burger does make lovely apparel) or perhaps embrace me in some kind of inebriated lovefest. I crisply replied “thank you,” but my eyes said “touch me and I gouge your eyes out.”
He backed off, and as I was walking out I heard the clerk ask him, “Now tell me again why your hands don’t touch the ground.”
I hurried to the car and quickly drove home. In retrospect I regret not hanging around to hear his answer. It might have been interesting.