Some Ninja-ing Required

Sometimes people ask me how I decide what to write each night, where I get my ideas, and generally how I achieve all this bloggery goodness.

Okay, no one asks me that. But if they did, I’d tell them that it’s magic and to quit bothering me. I’m far too busy to answer dumbass questions like that.

However, I will gladly explain my process for fixing the HTML and CSS coding that comprises the backbone of the blog. I have a very precise series of steps I follow when something breaks.

1. I swear. Loudly and vulgarly. Occasionally with accompanying hand gestures. This step has yet to actually fix anything, but I feel that it’s a vital piece of the process nonetheless.

2. I threaten the computer with a ninja star. Most coding problems crumble at the mere sight of the ninja star. If they withstand the might of the ninja star I immediately proceed to step three.

3. Leigh whips out the katana, and let me tell you, she does more than threaten the problem with it. 99 percent of the time the problem admits defeat at the first glimpse of my wife with a sword. For those truly tenacious problems I proceed to step four, my secret weapon.

4. Nothing”¦and I mean NOTHING, withstands Ellie in the ninja mask. Ellie dons the mask and BAM, HTML problem solved.

So there you have it. That’s how I go about fixing coding problems on the blog. Feel free to use my four step problem-solving process the next time you find yourself in a bind. I use it for coding, but I’m sure you could apply this to everyday problems as well. Cashier refusing to accept your coupon? I’m sure a ninja star would appropriately persuade him. Get caught speeding? Even cops are intimidated by the katana. Mugger threatening to steal your valuables? He’ll poop his pants when a ninja masked Ellie comes charging down that dark alleyway.

P.S. I can hear the collective “I want my own ninja mask!” from all you readers. Well, here’s a very good how-to video. Just remember, a ninja mask is a very big responsibility. Use it wisely.

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Comments

  1. Debbie says:

    Poor Ellie. The things she has to put up with.

  2. Anniina says:

    Funny post, Mark. And while you and Leigh are intimidating for certs, Ellie takes the prize! Gooooo NINJADOG!

    Where can we send her fan mail? How much are pawtographs?

  3. Anonymous says:

    I contacted PETA. i hope they nail your ass to the wall for making Ellie were a berka!

    Flood

  4. Anonymous says:

    wait just a minute, is that the dragon sword from Highlander? It is isn’t it. You just lost major cool ninja points. Hey, did Odell sell that to you personally?

    Flood

  5. Mark A. says:

    That is not a berka, and anyways, you’re an accomplice. If I go down so do you.

    Well, if I lose cool ninja points for owning it you lose them for recognizing it. Especially since you can barely see the tsuba and Leigh’s hand all but covers up the handle.

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