There’s no unifying theme to this post. Just some random things I need to get off my chest before I claw my own eyes out.
Is it too much to ask for Sam’s to hire competent customer service people? Today it took three, count’em THREE, people twenty minutes to help the woman in front of me return a TV of some sort. Apparently the transaction was so all-consuming that neither of the three people could even look up and acknowledge the fact that I was waiting ever so impatiently. Look, if I wanted to be mistreated and ignored by a salesperson I’d go to Wal-Mart.
Picture this: You’ve had a bad day. It’s so hot outside that you can’t walk across a parking lot from your car to a store without your nether-regions soaking your clothes with a stinky, yellowish sweat. Suddenly a thought enters your head–ice cream would be good. Wait, no…too hot for ice cream. It’d melt all over your hands and create a mess that rivals the yellow sweat. Ice cream float. It’s still ice cream, but it’s in a cup, and it’s also got root beer. Bonus. So you head over to the A&W Restaurant with all the enthusiasm of a twelve year old. You arrive at the counter and excitedly say “A large root beer float please, and gimme an extra shot of joy and innocence!” The guy behind the counter says, “Sorry pal. We’re all out of root beer.” Your mind reels. It’s an A&W restaurant for God’s sake. That’s like going to a barber and being told they’re out of haircuts. If this happens to you, as it did to me today, then quickly take out your wallet and bite down on it. Otherwise, in the midst of your rage, your jaw will slam shut and you’ll crack your teeth.
Today during a news conference, President Marble-Mouth said this: “Part of the reason why there’s not this instant democracy in Iraq is because people are still recovering from Saddam Hussein’s brutal rule. Sort of an interesting comment, I heard somebody say, `Where’s Mandela?’ Well, Mandela’s dead because Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas.”
Look people, I couldn’t make this up. Here’s a YouTube clip.
<sigh> Nelson Mandela’s not dead you raving dipshit. Look, it’s no secret that I don’t like Bush, but I’m not one of the people that thinks he’s a retard. You can’t be a retard and get into the White House. But really, that comment is fucking retarded. I’m actually wondering if he says crap like that to distract his critics from substantive issues. I also wonder if the Secret Service agents have to handcuff themselves to keep from tackling, restraining, and then spitting in the mouth of “Tumbler” every time he says something this idiotic.