Tonight on “The Colbert Report,” Stephen reminded how much it sucks to be an adult.
Wait, let me rephrase. Tonight Stephen reminded me how much it sucks being an adult who will not settle for repose, and instead demands truth. Stephen showed a picture of Iron Eyes Cody, the infamous “Indian” from the 70’s PSA, “Keep America Beautiful.”
Oh, you know the commercial. The one with the “Indian” crying because he witnessed a lady toss some litter out of her car window? Yeah. That guy wasn’t an Indian. He was an Italian from Louisiana and Texas, whose real name was Espera DeCorti.
Hurts, doesn’t it? I hate learning things like that. How did you feel the first time you learned that during the French-Indian War, our British ancestors attempted to deal with the Indians by tricking them into accepting blankets infected with smallpox?
Makes me kinda itchy just thinkin’ about it.
I don’t like knowing that Halliburton received billions in no-bid contracts for reconstruction in Iraq, that Thomas Jefferson fathered children with his slaves but still supported slavery, that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are complete fabrications to trick kids into behaving, or that the green pasty-shit on my sushi plate isn’t really wasabi, but actually American horseradish, mustard and green coloring.
Most important subjects are like that. The more you learn about politics, and the people in politics, the more you learn that we’re actually pretty lucky the government functions at all. The more you learn about the Bible and the history of the Judeo-Christian religion, the more you begin to look suspiciously at those people in places of religious authority.
Truth and repose”¦it’s such a hard choice, isn’t it?