National Economy

Tonight Joe Cramer of MSNBC’s “Mad Money” appeared on “The Colbert Report.” He told Stephen that felt the US’s economy was the worst in the world, surpassing places like Columbia, and Mexico, and other countries I didn’t know the names of because I cheated my way through geography.

I also read several days ago that we owe China over $600 billion dollars. How the hell does something like that happen? In all seriousness, I blame China for allowing us to do that. After we blew through the first $200 billion they should have told us that we weren’t responsible enough to handle money and that until we proved we could handle our allowance like a big country we weren’t getting any more.

Also, I don’t think we respect China quite as much as we should, otherwise we wouldn’t be into’em for as much dough as we are. I have a feeling that when most Americans think of a typical Chinese citizen they either picture Long Duck Dong, or a Fu Manchu lookin’ guy pulling a rickshaw. I’m sorry to break it to you, but not every Chinese person is as affable as Jackie Chan. If we don’t pay them their money I have a feeling that in the not so distant future our parades will contain more goose-stepping than most people will be comfortable with.

To top all this off, I then read that Bill Gates has dropped the dollar, and has begun to invest in the Euro instead. Now, as much as I resent the fact that Bill Gates pretty much controls the world with Windows, as ruling monarch over all of Nerdom I think I should follow my Nerd King. I pledge that from now on the only currency I carry will be Monopoly money. I know it’s not the same as the Euro, but it’s almost as colorful, and to me that counts. The way I see it, any currency conversion where you leave with something other than USD spells financial security, and pretty colors are always considered a bonus.

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  1. leigh says:

    “i finally have a place to rest my head.” long duk dong

    “f*ck this game! it’s 4 in the morning, grandma! you win!” dane cook

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