Men Don’t Cry–They Irrigate Their Retinas

While rereading some of my posts I realized that I admitted to having wept while watching a television show. I must admit, that doesn’t sound very manly of me, and in this day and age non-manliness can get a fellow into a lot of trouble.

I feel I should clarify and expound on the issue of my alleged weepiness. Very rarely do I cry while watching a T.V. show or a movie. I cried when Old Yeller got shot, but I think that moment has been approved as one appropriate for men to cry during. Other than that I can’t remember the last time I”¦ummm, hang on a sec.

Ok, Leigh’s just informing me that she actually saw me crying two days ago while watching “Brokeback Mountain.” In my defense, I was feeling a bit under the weather, and my eyes were really watery because of allergies, so I can see how she may have been confused as to the origin of my tears. It’s entirely coincidental that my allergies began acting up the exact moment that Jack told Ennis “I wish I knew how to quit you,” and Ennis replied “Why don’t you? Why don’t you just let me be?”

And contrary to what you may have heard I most certainly DID NOT cry at the end of Armageddon. I mean, that’s just a terrible movie and rumors like that are defamatory and I must insist that they cease immediately.

I am a man dammit! And real men don’t cry. Like Ron Burgandy I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am.

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