Get Off The Couch

You remember all those anti-marijuana ads we used to see? This is your brain, and all that other nonsense? Well, the government department that produces those ads, the Office of Drug Control Policy, has begun to change their tactics after discovering that those fear-based ads actually increased drug use. Here’s their new attempt to dissuade potential midnight tokers:

I think they may be on to something. A little truth in advertising might be the way to go, because lord knows nothing else has worked. Although, Seth Stevenson asks some interesting questions in his article “This is your ass on drugs,” which was published over at Slate. He points out that if they’re finally getting around to admitting that weed isn’t really a gateway drug, and it also isn’t all that harmful, then the ODCP could be encouraging people to question the illegality of the drug. It’s a good point, but I think a lot of people are already questioning it.

As a matter of full disclosure I think I should mention that I’ve never smoked weed, but not because of any kind of great aversion drugs. Actually, that ad demonstrates perfectly why I never tried pot. I hung out with a few guys that liked to get baked, but all they wanted to do was sit around and smoke. I already have a problem with sitting on my ass watching TV, and I don’t need to take a drug that encourages that kind of behavior.

I’m also a really big fan of lucidity, but to each his own.

I know Cheech and Chong are the original poster boys for weed, but whenever I think of pot smokers I always think of the movie “Idle Hands.” In that movie an evil spirit possess the hand of a stoner, and he accidentally kills his two cotton-mouthed friends. Don’t worry, they end up coming back from the dead as zombies, because as soon as they saw the white light”¦you know what? I’ll let them explain it:

Now THAT’S a pot-head””someone too wasted to even bother walking up into Heaven. I’m not trying to argue that marijuana is a good thing, but I’ll say this: I’d much rather deal with someone who was stoned than someone who was drunk. Drunk people are way too erratic, and for many people alcohol leads to violence. I think the only thing marijuana leads to is a predilection for making Spam-sandwiches.