Well, I hope that everyone had a Merry Earth Day!
Umm, today was Earth Day. You knew that, right? You don’t have to lie…I know you had no idea. It’s okay. I realize that as far as holidays go, Earth Day is absolute crap. It’s only here to make you feel bad about flinging McDonald’s hamburger containers out your car window, so I can understand if you didn’t throw a big hootenanny to celebrate your irresponsibility as a human being.
I think more people would celebrate Earth Day if we attached some weird ritual to the day, like gift-giving or hiding candy. Fireworks would also be nice, and if we could think of a way to introduce an omniscient anthropomorphic character to keep children in line via fear, then we’d really be on to something.
But these environmental holidays all stink, don’t they? Seriously, who gives a shit? If I don’t get a present, candy, or an enormous meal of famine-mocking proportions, then I don’t want anything to do with the so-called “holiday.”
Arbor Day, I’m lookin’ at you.