Did you know that pay phones now cost fifty cents? When the hell did that happen? No one consulted me on this price hike.
Mr. Technology left his cellphone at home today, and the one time I didn’t have it in my pocket we found ourselves urgently needing to make a call. First off, there aren’t many pay phones left anymore. We drove around forever before we found one, and the one we actually ended up using had been beat all to hell. Seriously, it looked like an import from Baghdad. The one in the picture to the right actually looks like a brand new phone compared to the one we used.
Then we discovered that someone, and personally I’m blaming Cheney, had raised the price of a call from thirty-five cents to fifty-cents. Fifty-cents! I’d just gotten used to thirty-five cents for a call. For that price a little incentive cookie should shoot out of the change return with each call. And you don’t even get internet access with that exorbitant rate. I’m writing a congressman about this.
On the bright side I think we got a complimentary case of head-lice with our fifty-cent call. Either that or scabies. I’m not sure which, but whatever it is it itches like all hell.
Oh yeah, Carthage must be destroyed
Some times I hate your blog site! Earlier I tried to past what Iconsidered a funny post (even if I was the only one who thought so!)
It went something like:
You know if we would have read “Rainbow Fish” and learned to share when we were young, we would know be living in our joyous communist state where we sould never have the problems that plague you.
By the way, Cheney spearheaded the president’s effort to achieve profit stability for the various fone companies.
BTW the lice were already there.
BTW You’re a Nazi or Hitler, one of the two or maybe both.
BTW how often do you think that the FBI checks out your blog.
And then you would see the Carthage comment, but for some reason your blog screwed up my messege. And now I am really disappointed becuase I was looking forward to showing it to Amy and I was feeling so proud, because when I actually write ( often I don’t because I am a lazy fool) I enjoy it, and now I am just crushed.
Of course I am thinking that maybe you just edited it out because of your affinity for censorship.
Let the people hear the truth, or are you afraid?
Most of this is just ranting. I tried to add that feeling by making use of the run on sentence.
I think I have mocked enough of everybody out there.
BTW Goodwin’s law should be amended to include communist and Marx/Lenin/Stalin/Pol Pot/Mao/. . .
BTW I added a little to the original rant (it probably subtracts something from the moral force of the earlier post)
Dammit, don’t confuse Blogger’s inefficiency with mine. Comments not posting correctly = Bloggers fault. Prose incomprehensible or poorly researched = my fault.
Problems that plague me? I’m an armchair critic;I sit at home all day writing and playing with Ellie. The only problem I have is that San Antonio doesn’t have a decent dojo within 20 miles of me. Besides, I don’t really think communism’s the way to go. I just like watching the staunch conservative capitalists twitch when I flippantly remark that I think Engels and Marx may have been right.
At this point I’m blaming everything on Cheney. Lewis Black did a bit on Michael Jackson where he said that Michael had become the physical embodiment of a punch line. I feel the same way about Cheney. Watch, I’ll prove it: “A Rabbi and a Priest walk into a bar”¦Dick Cheney.” Or howabout “Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dick Cheney.” See? Funny stuff.
The lice may very well have already been there”¦but if they were, you gave’em to me.
I am not a Nazi”¦I look terrible in jackboots.
You joke about the FBI thing, but I actually considered embedding militant language in the HTML code of the blog to see if I could get a phone call or a visit from some sunglasses wearing gentlemen. I haven’t done it yet, but I’m still considering it.
I’m sorry blogger dropped your comments, but don’t let that little set-back deter you. The only comment I’ll ever censor is if you start spouting off embarrassing anecdotes about me, i.e. stories which involve me falling and bleeding.
Oh, and run-one sentences are a sure sign of higher education, so never be ashamed to use them.
Notice i said your blog site not your or it’s content. At this point I was going to go into some rant about taking something out of context, but whatever. I’ll try (and that is the operative word) to be funny some other time, or at least what goes for humor in my head. Well really the voices tell me stuff and it seems good…