We’re Doomed

According to this article, Larry Page, Google co-founder, announced at the Annual American Association for the Advancement of Science conference that Google is actively pursuing AI (artificial intelligence for all you non-nerds). Not only are they developing AI, but according to Larry they’re trying to develop AI on “a large scale.”

Short version: We’re screwed.

Short-long version: To hell with Iraq. Forget ‘lil Kim in North Korea. Mamhoud Ahmadienenijihaddd who? If Google births an artificially created intelligence that has the capability to access Google’s vast searching and indexing tools, then we’re screwed. The new being will know everything about us, from our most philosophical musings right down to the kind of midget porn we find most erotic. Skynet would look like a Commodore 64C compared to the sentient and self-conscious Google-baby.cypher

The only thing we can hope for is that the Google-being will look down on its fleshy parent with benevolence. If it discoveries the human emotion pity, then we’re okay. In fact, we might be better off. Google Adsense can already tailor advertisements based off of your Google searches. Presumably, our Google overlords will be able to use the same criteria to keep us happy and compliant.

Just remember what Cypher said right before he betrayed humanity: “Ignorance is bliss.”

Categories: Jackassery, Nerdology | Comments

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Comments

  1. Anniina says:

    Eeeeeek! Yeah, I’m frightened. Have you read “Galatea 2.2”?

  2. Anniina says:

    Hi, I’m Anniina, and I’m a Book Addict. I know whatcha mean. I need to get more book cases just to hold the ones I’ve got. And that’s after I’ve culled my books to ones I can’t live without. Byaaaaah!

  3. Hypermark says:

    Gotta write a post about book addicts now.

  4. Flood says:

    I really don’t want to come out and say that I am a book addict, ’cause that might imply that I want and need help. As long as I deny it (or make jokes about it) I haven’t reached that first step.

  5. Hypermark says:

    Rehab is for quitters.

  6. Flood says:

    I agree with Erasmus: When I have money, I buy books, if I have anything left over I buy food or clothes. Of course the punk was a monk and didn’t pay rent, wore a habit, and ate the church’s food.

  7. leigh says:

    denial is the first step in some cycles…maybe you’ll become angry next…

  8. Flood says:

    So what are you insinuating? That really pisses me off!

  9. leigh says:

    next is bargaining…

  10. Flood says:

    Listen, I’ll make you a deal. I won’t talk about your long hours at the hospital, if you won’t bother me about (not that I have a problem, this conversation really pisses me off!) my books.

  11. Anniina says:

    I have a book addiction… not sure I’d classify it as a problem? And I doubt Leigh is addicted to being at the hospital – I’ve heard those things are called (searching for the word)…. jobs.

  12. Flood says:

    Why is everybody out to get me? I just want to be alone with my books (sob, sob)!

  13. leigh says:

    are you crying because you’re depressed?

  14. Flood says:

    What about this black horrible pit of hellish earth would make me depressed.

  15. leigh says:

    at this point you should be able to accept the situation…if not, you’re screwed and should just give up now…

  16. Flood says:

    I refuse to believe you or even to read anything you have to type!

  17. Anniina says:

    Yup, that’s Denial alright!

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