After I read this CNN article about Weird Al’s new CD “Straight Outta Lynwood” debuting at #10 on this month’s Billboard chart, I started thinking about nerd music. In case you didn’t know, us nerds listen to very particular music. We can’t be bothered with mainstream dreck, and we tend to gravitate toward music that embraces our nerdiness.
Yes, I realize I am breaking nerd protocol by revealing this, but since we are taking over the world I think it’s time to let the general population in on what’s in store for them.
First off, Weird Al is our hero. He’s maintained his nerdiness and through sheer tenacity forced the rest of society to not only accept him, but to love him as well. All nerds dream of this, even if they won’t admit it. Here’s his the video for “White and Nerdy,” the song that hit number ten on the Billboard:
As you can see, he’s taken a hardcore rap song, “Ridin’ Dirty,” and made it accessible to keyboard jockeys everywhere. But, I’m sure you’re aware that Al’s been doing this for a long time. Here’s a parody of P Diddy’s “It’s All About the Benjamins”
Again, Al took a scary rap song and transformed it into something nerds could relate to, but he’s not limited to parodying rap songs. He went so far as to turn “American Pie” into an anthem about the Star Wars Saga:
FYI-That’s the second time Al’s dedicated a song to Star Wars. The first time was in 1985, with a little song called “Yoda”:
Speaking of Star Wars, anytime you can mention Lucas’ magnum opus in a song nerds will pretty much accept any song you put in front of them. Case in point, MC Chris’ “Fett’s Vette”:
Now, nerds do like rap, but only rap that’s not very violent and that doesn’t threaten us. Take for example “Rollin’ With Saget.” Any rap song that stars Bob Saget as the badass is a rap song a nerd can get behind.
For some reason every nerd I’ve ever met loves Young MC’s “Bust a Move.” Many of them can recite the whole thing verbatim.
As I said, some rap scares us, and in my mind no group of rappers was scarier than NWA. Out of all the guys in NWA Easy-E was probably the scariest. That’s why we were all ecstatic that Dynamite Hack rerecorded his song “Boyz in the Hood” and made it safe for suburbanites to listen to:
That one leads us into another genre of music loved by nerds all over the world: remakes. Anytime an indie group remakes a pop song and injects a little nerdiness into the performance, we’re all over it. Travis’s cover of Britney Spears’ song “Hit Me Baby” is a perfect example:
The Dan Band also made an intolerable 80’s song tolerable:
No list of nerd songs would be complete without a song dedicated to D & D. I give you Stephen Lynch, a man who understands the plight of a D & D player:
And last but not least, we love soundtracks. Give us a good soundtrack and we nerds are a happy bunch. Pair that soundtrack with a music video/movie tie-in, and we’re in heaven. Anyone remember “The Touch”?
No? Well, maybe you remember Connor McLeod of the Clan McLeod up onstage with the late, great Freddy Mercury?
I may very well be the only person left who will admit to owning the soundtrack to “The Teenage Mutant Turtles” movie. Sadly, I can still sing all the words to this awful, awful song:
And that’s just a sampling. File this away in your memory, because after Google takes over the world, and Skynet goes live, it won’t be the T-800 that’ll save your asses. It’ll be the nerds.
Learn to love this music. It’s the future.