Rumors are a swirlin’ all over the internet that the upcoming Die Hard sequel “Live Free or Die Hard” will be toned down to receive a PG-13 rating.
That means that all the violence has to be blood-free, and John will only be able to utter the f-word a single time in the whole movie, and I’m pretty sure that he won’t be able to smoke, either.
I already expressed my reservations about this movie months ago, but now I’m really, really depressed. And yes, I realize I just said I’m depressed about a Die Hard movie. McClane means a lot to me, okay? I want to hear John McClane grumble “I’ve got a bad fuckin’ headache” as he indiscriminately sprays pounds of ammo at the bad-guys. I want to see him stab a guy right in the eye with a foot-long icicle. And in my mind, if John doesn’t yell “You MOTHERFUCKER” as he punches a guy repeatedly in the ribs then it just ain’t a Die Hard movie.
If this gets a PG-13 I’ll just stay at home and watch my Die Hard Trilogy set and make-believe the new movie doesn’t exist. Just in case you’ve forgotten the awesomeness of the Die Hard series, here’s an excellent montage of clips from the first three movies, edited to sync up with the totally cool song “Die Hard” by the band Guyz Nite.
And I’ll go ahead and apologize if you go around all day singing the “Yippiiiiieeeee Kiiiiiii Yayyy Motherfuckerrrrrrrrr!” portion from the chorus of the song.