Is it just me, or does anyone else find it ironic that many of the so-called “manly” activities are extremely homoerotic? I was just reading this blog article about Kevin Federline’s recent appearance on WWE, and the blogger noted that professional wrestling is only slightly less homoerotic than two gay men having sex. I have to agree with him. I mean, most of the sexual positions I know I learned from watching sweaty professional wrestlers tussle around in the middle of a bed”¦I mean ring.
I never played any high school football, but from what I remember the general student population considered football players the epitome of manliness. However, I’ve seen a few football games, and I’ve actually had friends that played football, and I don’t think I’m incorrect in saying that in anticipation of the snap the quarterback MUST rest the back of his hand on the center’s ballsack. Someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is a rule of some sort. In my mind there’s not a lot of difference between “resting” and “fondling.” I’m not even going to mention the homosexual shenanigans and hoyay going’s-on that I’ve heard about taking place in the locker room between “straight” guys.
It seems to me that hunting is also pretty homoerotic. A bunch of guys all liquored up in the woods, the wives nowhere in sight, oiling up their gun barrels and talking about football. And I don’t think it takes much of an imagination to see how incredibly phallic guns and bullets can be.
I also think it’s pretty safe to say that as a society we consider golf a man’s game. I’d be willing to bet that there are many country clubs that still exist that would be quite happy if women weren’t allowed on the premises. Have you ever watched a guy lining up a shot? Again, maybe it’s just me, but for all the world it looks like the guy is swinging around a ridiculously enlarged penis. Swing the hips”¦it’s all in the hips.
And we all know that The Village People have been destroying “manly” mythos for decades.
What should we make of this phenomenon? Am I proposing that all those “manly” men out there, the ones that are violently homophobic, are secretly harboring homosexual tendencies which subtly manifest through their actions? Geez, that’s awfully complicated.
All’s I’m saying is I want a few drinks down me before I do any “male bonding.” I either want to love it or not remember it.