Garbage In, Garbage Out

Some of you may have noticed something of a dearth of politically motivated posts on the blog. I have several convincing answers as to why, but truthfully, I’m tired of reading the news and even more tired of writing about it.

Several of my friends support the current administration, and more specifically Bush, and that’s fine. The closer the friend the more the relationship can handle vehement disagreement, I always say. I know that they want the best for our society just as I do, so in the end I find it hard to hold their political beliefs against them. See, I think that once you break through the talking points and our collective cognitive dissonance, most people do want a society where everyone gets along. I truly believe that.

Unfortunately, I don’t feel the same way about any of our political leaders. None of them. They benefit from a divided constituency. It prevents us from realizing how shitty they are. I hold out hope for a few, but the moment I think I’ve got a lock on one of them they do a McCain and go hang out with Falwell. Money talks and bullshit walks, and apparently all of us commoners talk lotsa bullshit, because the politicians continually walk away from us and towards the money.

On the right you have the Bible-thumpers; ready to disregard the first scientist they see as a God-less secularist, and more concerned with the sexual peccadilloes of their neighbor than with the ethical implications of their dubious stock exchange trading habits. These waspy yo-yos seem to forget that one of the reasons Luther wrote those 95 theses was that he believed in the priesthood of all believers, meaning that each person possesses the ability to interpret scripture and attain salvation without the need of an intermediary. So why do the zealots now want to intermediate on everything they can? You yahoos can’t legislate morality, because whether you like it or not morality is not an absolute”¦it’s entirely subjective. What makes you nauseous makes lots of folks pretty damn excited, and vice versa. So back off, you self-righteous assholes.

Standing opposed to the right’s religious zealots, and lined up like the armies in Braveheart, are the left’s kooky socialists. Thankfully, they don’t care what you do behind your closed door, just as long as you don’t draw on those sexual taboos we all love to engage in to write a book, program a video game, or shoot a movie. Because God forbid a child get their hands on some porn. Oddly, opposing “pornography” (I quote the term because they use it for a variety of genres, not just sexual) seems to be the only subject the lefties agree on. They sure don’t agree on the war, they don’t agree on fiscal issues, and they try to sell themselves to the public as the Not-GOP Party. That’s how opaque these dummies have become. They define themselves not by what they believe in, but simply against their opponents. Give us some substance you shitheads.

I’ll list the one thing I find most disconcerting about the political parties, in their current incarnations.

Republicans: The irrational belief that the assessment of contemporary citizens means very little; instead they claim to make such broad changes and bold moves that only future historians will possess the ability to judge them. Give me a fucking break. This is more of that religious zealotry nonsense, because what they really mean is that God will judge them not other humans. First off, they need to read up on the Magna Carta-1215 (that’s the only date I can ever remember). Second, I’m pretty sure that if the republicans had ran on a platform of “Doing God’s Work And Not Yours” in the elections that they would have suffered a defeat greater than William Hung on American Idol. Look, even Reagan came out and admitted he sold arms to Iran, so enough with the not caring what people think crapola. Own up to your mistakes and serve the whole country, and not just the white Protestants that voted your party into power.

Democrats: They have no plan. None. Nothing. Nada. “We’re not Bush.” That’s their whole plan. People like Hillary and Lieberman are the worst. They worry so much about appealing to the same crowd as the GOP that they have no substance at all. But then, when the Democrats find someone like Howard Dean (who’s kind of a bad example ”˜cause he’s batshit insane) who truly espouses some new and thought-provoking ideas they criticize them and call them things like “radical” or “retarded.” Get it together you nimrods. Democrats should be screaming at the top of their lungs about the shoddy science classes taught in public schools, the ridiculousness of ID, the harmful effects of the Right’s intrusion into women’s health, global warming, and the sheer level of corruption in the Republican party. What do they do instead? Bitch about video games. Go on talk shows and sound stupid. Everyone’s talking about mid-term elections, but I have no doubt that the Democrats will figure out someway to mess that up, too.

Morons, the lot of’em.

So instead of getting my feathers all in a ruffle I take pictures of myself dressed up like a Ninja. I watch Adam Sandler and Jack Black movies, or I go with Leigh and Ellie for a walk. I can’t think about it too much, because I lack the ability to ignore bullshit from either side. Which, I guess, makes me a bad voter.

I so wish that I lived in a time where we looked to our political leaders as ideals of human achievement. I would love to watch a presidential address and not feel cynical or cheated.

Oh well. Let me go find my ninja mask”¦

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