Do You Want Common Sense With That?

Do you pay any attention to the weight loss plan du jour? No carbs, no fat, less sugar, eliminate all trans fats, eat a stinky cabbage soup every meal, shake for breakfast shake for lunch and a sensible dinner, six inch sub only six grams of fat, high protein low starch, eat plenty of dairy, avoid milk, but most of all become completely paranoid about any food which passes over your lips.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve stopped listening. One day the “experts” will say one thing, and the next they’ll tell you the very thing they endorsed the day prior will surely kill you.

I have a very simple approach to weight maintenance and weight loss which I would tell you outright, but I think Milo Bloom and Opus will do a much better job than I (click to enlarge):How hard is that? Eat less, exercise more. Pretty simple.

Unfortunately too many people attempt to divert attention away from their atrocious eating and exercising habits and blame someone else for their fat ass. Look, I know that if I eat a cheeseburger and chili-cheese fries that I’ve consumed a lot of calories, and to compensate I’ll either need to 1) exercise enough to burn off those calories in a timely manner; 2) eat far, far less for the next few meals.

I have a five pound range I allow my weight to hover within and the moment it breaches my self-imposed range either up or down I change my eating habits. It’s really not that big of a deal.

Not that I didn’t find his movie entertaining, but I also didn’t need Morgan Spurlock to explain why fast food isn’t nutritious. Any meal that takes less time to prepare than the bowel movement needed to eliminate it is not going to be any good for you. Keep that in mind the next time you eat that Big Mac or Beef Burrito Supreme.

Take some responsibility for you own actions, and stop trying to punish everyone else because your knees go weak when you see a Twinkie and you routinely drink more soda in a day than those damn Polar Bears. I’m sick and tired of reading stories like this one. If you don’t know that sodas are bad for you then your health complications clearly illustrate evolution at work.

Folks can also stop telling me that dairy products are bad for me. First off, I’ve always drank a gallon of milk every three days and I always will, even if they name it “fatty-fatty juice” and print a picture of Rosanne Barr on the label. And no, I don’t only drink it because the Spider-Friends tell me to, although I do find that a compelling reason.

I’m also pretty sure that in past civilizations you had two choices of beverage: 1) Beer/Wine; 2) Fresh Milk. Why? Well, because the alcohol in the beer/wine killed any nasty little bugs determined to wreck havoc with the human digestive system, and those same creatures didn’t have time to invade milk freshly squeezed from the cow teat. Water, on the other hand, was a veritable cesspool in many towns and villages. What was good enough for my ancestors is good enough for me.
That, and my parents own a dairy, so I’m supporting the family business.

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  1. leigh says:

    your rant at the beginning of the post is along the same lines as something george carlin would say…and speaking of evolution at work, “what ever happened to natural selection? survival of the fittest? the kid who swallows too many marbles doesn’t grow up to have kids of his own.”

  2. Mark A. says:

    I know. I realized about midway through it that it had the same sing-song rhythm as a Carlin lullaby.

  3. the Amazon goddess says:

    Please to remember, you cannot grow to six foot Amazon status without lots of milk!!

    My daddy always said I drank way too much milk and look at me now: Fearless intimidator of helpless women, bad dogs, and most of the men I’m interested in dating.

  4. Mark A. says:

    Some women need the intimidation and bad dogs require it, and as for the men, well they’re not real men if they let a few extra inches of height intimidate them.

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