Can We Please Delay The Story?

Unless you’re living under a rock you must know by now that Tom Delay announced that he will not seek reelection and will leave congress. Most bloggers are linking to the Time story.

Hooray. A corrupt politician steps down, which in turns enables another one to step up. Garbage out”¦garbage in.

I’m sure there are politicians in congress who’ve committed worse crimes than money-laundering. Money-laundering? Humph! Big deal. It’s not like he shot anyone in the face or anything. Come April 15th hiding money becomes a hobby for most Americans.

I’m just upset because I know the media will milk this announcement until it dries up like a one teated cow with quadruplets. And you know what that means, huh? Pictures of Delay everywhere.

Am I the only person frightened by his photograph? He looks like an otherworldly being wearing the skin of a human as a disguise. And not even a custom-designed human disguise, but one that he bought off the shelf in a cardboard box at the intergalactic K-mart on a blue-light special.

I also think he looks like Mickey Rourke’s long-lost brother. They both have that taut-eye appearance which makes their eyes look like latex approximations of human eyes. Maybe Tom took all that money to save up for a surgery which would fix the damage from the last one. Well, if that’s the case we should start a collection and help out with the part he wasn’t able to steal so we can get’em fixed up. And if there’s any left we can give that to Mickey. God knows he needs it too.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think the two parties go into a room an flip a coins to see which party has to look like shit this week

    Flood

  2. Mark A. says:

    Sounds plausable enough to me. Next week its the democrats turn. Hillary will say something that makes all democrats look like pc censor-happy chuckle-heads.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Or maybe better yet, Cynthia McKinney will assault a capitol hill cop….Wait a minute

    Flood

  4. Mark A. says:

    I’d expect nothing less from that ghetto-slut. I like the graphic of the motorola “shiv” from TDS last night that she’s supposedly carrying.

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