For the upcoming movie “Black Snake Moan,” Samuel L. Jackson, in addition to acting, contributed four songs to the soundtrack. In the film, Jackson portrays an aging blues singer that takes it upon himself to rehabilitate a promiscuous young lady, played by Christina Ricci. And by “rehabilitating,” I mean he ties a tow-chain around her skinny little waist and holds her hostage while using his bluesy wisdom to cut through her self-destructive behavior. Here’s the trailer.

One of the songs on the soundtrack sung by Jackson, “Stack ‘O Lee” is a cover of a classic blues tune. A tune, by the way, that has a fascinating backstory, which reaches goes all the way back to 1895 in the Mississippi Delta. I wholeheartedly recommend that you read up on it.

The song is really good. The growling electric guitar sounds like it’s coming out of a crappy Peavey amp in a shifty bar, the drums sound chest-shakingly guttural, and Jackson’s gravelly voice is grimy and tough. When I listen to the song I can imagine standing in a bar full of stale cigarette smoke, with the humming neon beer signs providing the majority of the room’s light. I can almost taste the bitter aftertaste of the last beer still lingering on the back of my tongue. The floor’s sticky from thousands of spilled drinks, and everyone in the room is fixated on the band on the stage at the end of the room. The stage, by the way, which is only six inches off the sawdust covered dance floor. The band isn’t dressed up in fancy outfits. One or two of the band members are still wearing their work clothes from their day jobs, and instead of playing to the audience with outlandish behavior, they’re simply there to play. They don’t talk to the crowd in between songs or sets. They don’t even introduce the songs. They just play. And they play with the intensity and soul that only comes from having nothing else good in their lives except the music that they play. Have a listen (There’s some cussing in the song, so if you’re at work, don’t turn it all the way up):

• Rachmaninov Piano Concerto No.3- via YouTube
  Beautiful.
• You missed Caturday.
  But go here to catch up.
• WARNING: Do not read this
  I’m serious. Okay, if you’re gonna, just make sure you aren’t eating. I won’t buy you new keyboard after you puke on your old one.

On March 4th the Discovery channel will premiere James Cameron’s new documentary “The Lost Tomb of Jesus.” Purportedly, James Cameron and his director, Simcha Jacobovici, provide textual and DNA evidence that Jesus’ tomb not only exists, but that his bones are in it, which definitely throws a kink in the whole ascending to Heaven thing. Cameron also claims that not only is Mary Magdalene buried with Jesus, but a few children as well. A statistician concluded that the odds in favor of the tomb being Jesus’ is 600 to 1. You can read more about the documentary at the Discovery Channel website.

Predictably, many people are upset with the mere notion of this documentary. And while I’m not surprised by the anger, I’m a little confused by it.

I think it would be useful to start this argument by reviewing the concept transubstantiation. This is a concept that many Christians should be familiar with, even if they don’t recognize the name. Transubstantiation refers to the moment during a Catholic Mass when the bread and wine actually become the body and blood of Jesus. Here’s what the wiki entry says about this mystery of the Catholic faith:
“When at his Last Supper Jesus said: “This is my body”, what he held in his hands had all the appearances of bread: these “accidents” remained unchanged. However, the Roman Catholic Church believes that, in accordance with what Jesus said, the underlying reality was changed: the “substance” of the bread was converted to that of his body. In other words, it actually was his body, while all the appearances open to the senses or to scientific investigation were still those of bread, exactly as before. The Church holds that the same change of the substance of the bread and of the wine occurs at the consecration of the Eucharist.”

While transubstantiation is pretty much exclusive to the Catholic faith, many other religions and branches of Christianity hold similar beliefs which allow them to transcend the physical world to reach towards the realm of the spiritual. Transcendence of the physical is not exclusive to Christianity; it can be found in all religions.

So what would it matter if science proved that Jesus’ body was actually buried somewhere in Jerusalem? As transubstantiation shows us, spiritual faith is already quite capable of distinguishing between the earthly and the spiritual, so why would this be any different? His body’s in Jerusalem, but that body is merely an accidental.

The main problem with many people of faith is that they are so enamored with the dogma of their particular religion that they forget about the spiritual aspect. They worship the institution more than the actual spirituality that it espouses, which leaves them unable to deal with change, because change threatens their whole system of belief. If we found out that Jesus had been married and was a father, would that in some way lessen the teachings of the gospels?

I’m borrowing slightly from Cornel West here, but believers can be broken into two groups: dogmatic believers and Socratic believers. Dogmatic believers are violently defensive about every aspect of their religion. Any inquires into their religion are viewed as adversarial and antagonistic. Dogmatic believers not only actively attempt to obstruct and frustrate efforts to test the ideological standpoints of their faith by outsiders, but they are also reticent to engage in spiritual introspection and self-examination. Any type of change is viewed as bad.

Socratic believers are interested in exploring and testing the central tenets of their faith. While change may not always be easy to accept, a Socratic believer is capable of dealing with change because they remain constantly aware that there is always new information to be learned and assimilated. Thus, the ideology and spirituality of a Socratic believer is perpetually evolving in response to experience.

I also think that too many people are confused about what religion is meant to do. I’ll break it down for you: Science shows us the intricacies of how the world works by way of the scientific method. Science is all about observation, theories, and repeatable experiments. On the other hand, religion and spirituality inform us about the human experience. Religion and spirituality propose an explanation for why we are here, and as a people, what we are meant to do, which are things that science can never address.

I’m actually pretty interested in seeing this new documentary. I’m fairly positive that it won’t change my outlook of the spiritual, regardless of whether or not it proves Jesus had a passel of kids, but you never know. Plus, my spirituality is sufficiently strong enough that it can’t be threatened by the likes of the director of “Piranha II: the Spawning.”

We’ll be discussing this article Monday night. Study up.

• WWGWBD?
  This is the most linear flowchart I’ve ever seen.
• Drunken Jedi Fight
  If there’s one thing you don’t want at your frat party, it’s two drunken assholes engaged in a lightsaber fight. Oh, and I’ve always wanted hear a Storm Trooper tell someone to “shut the fuck up.” I have no idea why, but now I feel complete.

What do you get when you mix “Apocalypse Now” and the “B-17 Flying Fortress” short from Heavy Metal? And then you throw in a little Robot Chicken for good measure? You get “Cong of the Dead.”

Video compliments of Mark W.

The Tennessee tourism department recently hired a Memphis marketing firm to develop an ad campaign to highlight Tennessee’s mountain bike trails in an attempt to attract prospective tourists. The firm, Chandler Ehlirch, came up with a brochure and a magazine ad, the latter of which appeared in this month’s issue of “Outside.” Here’s the ad (click the photo to enlarge it):

Isn’t that cool? The first-person perspective gives you the sensation of actually being there with the bikers, who are zooming down the hills and enjoying nature. You can see the beautiful landscape in the photo, and doesn’t it just make you yearn for an outdoor adventure? Unfortunately for the Tennessee tourism department, an astute blogger noticed that the photo in that ad isn’t actually of Tennessee bike trails. No, that photo was published in a May 1997 National Geographic, and it is actually a photo of Alaska’s Lake Clark National Park. Whoops!

Here’s the original photo from the National Geographic (click the photo to enlarge it).

According to this article, Chandler Ehlirch didn’t do anything illegeal by using the photo because they actually paid for the rights to reprint it. In spite of that fact, some people seem rather upset about Chandler Ehlirch’s duplicity.

I find this whole thing very interesting. I’m sure we’ve all seen the ways that photoshop artists manipulate photos in advertisements, and I know that each of us has felt slightly disgusted at the misleading photos in fast-food restaurants. Why can’t the Taco Supreme that I order actually look like the one on the menu? Why, dammit, WHY?

At this point, do any of us really even care what claims are made in advertisements? We all know that marketers are full of shit. We know that commercials are full of shit. Pretty much any advertisement is completely full of shit, and I’m positive that most reasonably intelligent people navigate through our media-drenched culture fully aware of that fact.

And those that don’t? Well, survival of the fittest, my friend. Let them waste their money on “Head On” and vacuum cleaner attachments that cut hair.

• Reporter Gets Hurt…You Laugh Hysterically
  Nothing’s funnier than a stupid reporter getting injured. Bonus points if there’s a 4-wheeler involved.

According to this article, Larry Page, Google co-founder, announced at the Annual American Association for the Advancement of Science conference that Google is actively pursuing AI (artificial intelligence for all you non-nerds). Not only are they developing AI, but according to Larry they’re trying to develop AI on “a large scale.”

Short version: We’re screwed.

Short-long version: To hell with Iraq. Forget ‘lil Kim in North Korea. Mamhoud Ahmadienenijihaddd who? If Google births an artificially created intelligence that has the capability to access Google’s vast searching and indexing tools, then we’re screwed. The new being will know everything about us, from our most philosophical musings right down to the kind of midget porn we find most erotic. Skynet would look like a Commodore 64C compared to the sentient and self-conscious Google-baby.

The only thing we can hope for is that the Google-being will look down on its fleshy parent with benevolence. If it discoveries the human emotion pity, then we’re okay. In fact, we might be better off. Google Adsense can already tailor advertisements based off of your Google searches. Presumably, our Google overlords will be able to use the same criteria to keep us happy and compliant.

Just remember what Cypher said right before he betrayed humanity: “Ignorance is bliss.”

• Science and Faith flowcharts
  The faith one is so much easier. I don’t have time for all that other shit.