We finally got to see “Spider-Man 3″ tonight. It was okay…I mean, it wasn’t great. If you only have time to see one movie this week then I’d probably recommend going to see “Hot Fuzz” and waiting for Spidey on DVD.

I should probably say that I really liked, nay loved, part one and two. In fact, I think that part one is probably one of the best comic book origin movies ever filmed. And in case you think I lack the comic book credentials to rate this film, let me say that not only do I own the first “Secret Wars ” series wherein the black suit makes its first appearance, I also own ASM #252, ASM #300, ASM #316…and well, basically every Spider-Man published since the early eighties. You can read up on those books here.

Part three just has way too many problems. First off, it fell victim to the Batman malaise and tried to introduce too many characters. Spider-man. Goblin. Sandman. Venom. MJ. Gwen Stacey. All of these are great characters, but in one movie they’re just too much.

For some reason they decided to make Sandman the killer of Ben Parker. This made no sense whatsoever. This only muddles, and in my mind lessens, the guilt that Peter carries around with him over letting that criminal get by him. The origin was portrayed so wonderfully in the first film, and why they decided to muck around with it is beyond me.

Spidey loses his mask about every other scene. I’m not kidding. And then the next thing you know he’s got another one.

Venom was cool, but far too underused. As one of the best directors of horror films, Raimi could have really let loose with Venom, but unfortunately that doesn’t really happen. And the introduction of the suit that will eventually become Venom is a big, big mess. Granted, the comic book origin of the black Spidey suit is as convoluted as the history of Islam, but the movie makes it so retard-simple you might be in danger of laughing at an inappropriate time in the theater. The suit falls out of the sky. Literally. The alien symbiote falls out of the sky and follows Peter home.

All of this I blame directly on director Sam Raimi. I love Raimi as a director. His frenetic and jarring direction and cinematography in the “Evil Dead” series should be mandatory viewing for upcoming directors, and his understated and frightening movie “A Simple Plan,” shows that Raimi doesn’t have to whip the camera around to make an impact on his audience.

Yes, Sam Raimi is a helluva director, but he’s not much of a writer, and Spider-Man 3 suffers most from weak dialogue and muddled plot points. Raimi’s movie “The Army of Darkness” plays like three separate movies, and the dialogue, while wildly entertaining especially while drinking, isn’t exactly Oscar-worthy. Here’s a taste of what Spider-Man is like. If you don’t feel like watching the whole clip (I’d watch it…it may be cheesy, but so are nachos, and I know we all enjoy those) you can skip to around 5:15 to witness Raimi at his dialogue cringe-worthy best.

For some reason I take it personally when a comic book movie stinks. Here’s hoping that Favs won’t mess up Iron Man, because I already know that the “Fantastic Four” movie will be a piece of shit. With Jessica Alba in a prominent role, how can it not be?

I don’t know why television studios aren’t embracing file sharing on the internet. It seems to me that they’d benefit from allowing viewers to catch up on their shows, especially the serial television shows that are extremely self-referential.

Case in point, I’d been hearing all about NBC’s “Heroes,” all over the internets; I knew it was the type of show that I’d probably like, but since I missed the first few episodes I never tried to watch it. When the show went on mid-season hiatus I simply downloaded all eleven episodes from Torrentspy and got all caught up.

Now? Now I’m hooked. I’ll watch the show every week. Because of illegal file-sharing NBC has essentially garnered an additional viewer.

I feel it is my duty to share the wealth. I found a YouTube user who has cut episode one of “Heroes” into five parts and posted it online. Here’s the first part:

Here is part two, three, four, and five.Just know that while episode one is good, it’s nowhere near the best episode. What amazed me most about the show was that by the end of episode eleven, which ends chapter one, I had seen a complete and self-contained story. My graphic novel reading brethren will love this show. It’s self-referential, it’s smart, and the creators really understand the superhero mythos.

“Heroes” is what the X-Men movies strived and failed to be.

Jeph Loeb, the co-executive producer, is an awesome comic book writer in his own right, and I have a feeling his expertise is playing a very big part in creating this show. Loeb penned such graphic novel masterpieces such as “Superman for all Seasons,” “Batman: Haunted Knight,” “Batman: The Long Halloween,” “Batman: Hush,” “Batman: Dark Victory,” “Spider-Man: Blue,” “Daredevil: Yellow,” and “Hulk: Gray.”

Episodes 1-11 illustrate that the creators truly understand how to write a superhero origin story. Episode twelve began chapter two, and if what I’ve seen so far is any indication of this chapter then we’re in for a helluva ride. Each character has a backstory that actually motivates their actions and behavior. I love all the heroes, but I gotta say, Hiro Nakamura is my new favorite comic book hero, and he’s not even in a comic book. And the bad guy? The supervillain? Well, he’s a scary, scary badass. You’ll just have to watch the show.

Piqued your interest? I hope so. If you want to get caught up as well, I’ll post a how-to on downloading shows tomorrow.

Last night while flipping through channels I stumbled upon “Crow: City of Angels.” After I realized it wasn’t the original, but before I flipped over to the Food Network, I was reminded of the disappointment I originally felt upon seeing it in the theater in 1996. What a complete waste of celluloid.

In spite of all its flaws I still love the original film. We’ve seen demonic spirits returning from the grave to exact vengeance countless times in film, but the first Crow showed us that sometimes that spirit is justified in its revenge. The gothic beauty of the film still moves me, and Brandon Lee’s performance, especially in the scene where he says, “They’re all dead…they just don’t know it yet,” gives me goose bumps every time I watch it. I still listen to the soundtrack–such an awesome blend of melancholy rock and industrial/techno heavy metal. It captures the mood of the film perfectly.

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the story of Brandon Lee’s accidental death while filming the movie. During one particular scene an actor fired a gun at Brandon Lee, which unbeknownst to anyone on the set contained a live round. Brandon immediately dropped to the floor, and the director along with the stunt team rushed to his side, and to their abject horror discovered a bloody bullet wound. Brandon slipped unconscious on the set and was pronounced dead four hours later at a nearby hospital. In a horrible stroke of irony this accident occurred mere weeks before his wedding, seemingly mirroring the events of the film.

I don’t think I told you anything new with that little summary of events. Almost anyone who’s seen the film knows that particular story, but few people know the story behind the graphic novel on which the film is based.

At seventeen a young James O’Barr had fallen in love and proposed marriage to a girl named Bethany. Having grown up in an orphanage and experienced a very rough childhood, Bethany represented goodness and hope in young James’s tumultuous life. While walking down a sidewalk in Detroit a drunk driver struck Bethany with his vehicle. He dragged her body through several yards before stopping. The police called her father, who in turn called James. He arrived at the hospital with her family only to learn the doctors had already pronounced her dead.

James enlisted in the Marines hoping that a disciplined life would ease his pain. It didn’t. After receiving a discharge from the military James turned to drugs and alcohol, and he eventually became convinced that he would only find solace by killing the man who had struck his fiancé. James discovered the man had died from natural causes, and again he went in search of a way to ease his heartache.

In time James would use his experiences to write “The Crow;” an independent comic book filled with vengeful poetry, haunting imagery, and dark rock lyrics. After the modest success of the graphic novel James received offers from Hollywood producers wanting to turn his comic into a movie. Filming began and through the course of the shoot James became very close friends with actor Brandon Lee. Then, as we all know, Brandon was killed on the set. After the accident James has said in interviews that he wished he’d never written the dammed thing in the first place.

I was a fan of the graphic novel before the movie, and during the spring of 1994 I met James at the Dallas Fantasy Faire comic book convention. He was doing book signings all over the country to promote the movie, but as the graphic novel had only been a modest success, and the film had yet to be released, his line of fans was practically non-existent.

I’ll never forget meeting that man. I don’t believe I’ve ever met a more withdrawn human being in my life. He seemed utterly unapproachable in spite of the lack of fans surrounding him. He sat at an eight-foot long table all alone, chain-smoking, and staring at the table or his hands the entire time. He dutifully signed my book and posters without ever looking up, and he simply refused to be drawn into any type of conversation. It wasn’t that he was just a rude person. He even drew me an original sketch of the Crow, something many artists will not do. No, it was more like he was present in body but not in spirit. I sensed a disconnect of some kind, and I can only imagine the pain he felt knowing that he had an obligation to promote a film that had killed his friend. A film, by the way, which was based on a graphic novel he wrote as a way to excise the pain he felt after the death of his fiancé.

So much death…

Many other artists, and even James himself, have attempted to delve back into the Crow mythos and expand the stories through books, comics, and films. Don’t waste your time with any of them. They all fall flat. In my mind the original film and the original graphic novel occupy a space all their own. They’re sublime; simultaneously beautiful and horrifying. I know you’ve seen the movie, but you should also read the comic.